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This period signifies a ten-year milestone since the phrase “disappearing” hit the public consciousness. Initially, the idea that someone could suddenly stop all contact with a lover without any notice seemed like the height of disrespect. We were so innocent. In the decade since, seeking a significant other has only become more bewildering – an oftentimes pointless exercise in awkwardness that is increasingly pigeonholed by online jargon.

Generation Z, a generation who came of age during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity crisis, and a widespread challenge on the freedoms of women and the queer community, faces a far messier environment than their Gen Y predecessors could ever imagine. And so their romantic glossary has grown more extensive and more unhinged, with terms like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” straining the limits of your sanity.

What follows is a extensive glossary to the phrases Zoomers is using to navigate romance, intimacy and the search of both. To echo one of the recent most enduring online sayings, by the end of this guide you’ll ache to get back to God’s country – because where that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Genuineness – In the view of gen Z, romance's gold standard is presenting as your true, raw self. You'll need it with that!

B

Feathered friend test – A online phenomenon inspired by a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something minor – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s reaction is inquisitive or disinterested. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner prioritizes herself while exuding enigma and self-sufficiency. (She may yet have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Seat theory – This means going for someone who aids you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a seat for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A outing where two people form a link while doing chores, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke twentysomethings do low-cost dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Emotional spiral – Having a breakdown when you feel burdened by life. You can crash out over a infatuation or split, dumping all of your (unrequited) emotions.

D

Dink – Double income, no kids. Once a signifier of 1980s yuppie excess, it describes pairs who opt out of having children to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

E

Open communication – The opposite of playing it cool: utilizing dialogue, transparency and openness.

F

Flags

• Warning signs – Behavioral traits suggesting a potential partner is bad news. Such as calling their exes crazy, subpar tipping habits, a love of controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Positive signs – These traits validate your choice to pursue a partner. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, low phone use, owning a bed frame …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe specific, largely benign quirks. Examples include being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still keeping a biro in their bag, paying rent in physical money …

Niche bonding – When you find someone who’s just as enthusiastic about films about the WWII or DVD collecting or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who despises the same stuff or people that you do (nothing creates intimacy faster than having a nemesis).

G

The band Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend is into.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who reappears into your life after a period of ghosting.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is affable, accommodating and loyal. The uncommon boyfriend who is beloved by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online subculture of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, intentionally delaying climax so they can continue as long as possible.

The Letter H

Heterofatalism – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing pessimism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An stereotype promoted by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and contentedly domestic, who apparently has no ambitions of her own aside from satisfying her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Turn-offs – Random and often mundane turnoffs that immediately extinguish any feelings of interest.

“He would if he cared" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else get an incredibly thoughtful gesture.

J

Professions – These have not been this crucial in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ideal catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in professions they believe are being staffed by the more nurturing among us: healthcare workers, teachers or therapists.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the days of locking lips may be waning since some Zoomers prefer fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen romance believable.

Kittenfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {